It was in the winter of 1946 that Edgar von Chandeau, better known by his friends and close acquaintances as Mr. Chandy, finally decided to invent meat.

It was during a most uneventful rugby game at the local townhouse, in which his interest for smoked pomegranate and knives was overcome by a surge of creative energy.

Few ever questioned Mr. Chandy's penchant for design. However, meat was a most extravagant new frontier, and the prospect of actually eating it didn't agree with the local townsfolk's preferences. It was a ridiculous concept. It was a reddish pink, bloody, and very unpleasant to the nose. On the other hand, Mr. Chandy was sure of the success of his invention.

The actual production process was a secret, but his acquaintances were certain it involved a wooden ladle and a cheese grater at some point. Mr. Chandy, ever the gentleman, and ever the businessman, never revealed his original method, not even to his own children.

For years, meat remained only as a curiosity to be sold and seldom consumed during boxing matches. Early on, Mr. Chandy's quite violent synthesizing technique left his product with the sweet taste of elongated bananas, and while the slippery, wet texture of meat was complemented by the sweetness, it simply couldn't reach the basic pillar meal status its creator had envisioned.

It wasn't until 1932 that meat actually became a respected food item. Its creation, so calculated and precise, was the polar opposite to the way it eventually evolved.

Mr. Chandy was hurrying back home from his local church, when his station-wagon malfunctioned and sent its passenger, and a large cargo of meat hurling, through a school and landing into a post office. This, of course, caused the meat to catch fire.

The realization hit Mr. Chandy like a ton of meat - that, of course being, that meat had to be set on fire in order to be consumed.

Nowadays, hundreds of people enjoy meat worldwide. Its refining process has changed a lot since Mr. Chandy's death in 1946, but the practice of setting it on fire for hours on end before eating it is still in use. Praised for its delicacy, the dry, sandy texture is a favourite in small children and the elderly. However, anybody can pick a taste for some good Mr. Chandy meat. Just don't mix it with bananas.